Nothing’s quite as exciting and romantic as falling in love. Butterflies flutter in your stomach constantly, and you long for the next time you’ll see the one who’s stolen your heart. But over time, you both get comfortable in the relationship. The love grows, but the romance fizzles. Can you climb out of this rut?
Yes, but it’ll require patience, intention, and a healthy dose of creativity. Here are some ideas to help your relationship regain the luster it once had.
It’s not you, it’s everyone.
Feeling like the thrill is gone in your relationship? This happens to most couples after the sparkle of a new relationship has faded and you’ve gotten to know each other. While it can be tough to talk about, having a conversation is the first step to recapturing the excitement you both shared.
Plan to bring up your feelings in a neutral, distraction-free environment, perhaps while taking a walk or sharing a meal. One way to break the ice is by reminiscing about a special moment you shared as you were falling in love and gently expressing your desire to experience that once again. Then ask your partner how they have been feeling about it lately.
Throughout the conversation, try to zero in on what your partner craves in the relationship. Use active listening techniques, like these from the Center for Creative Leadership, to become more conscious of your partner’s needs.
Once you both have a deeper understanding of each others’ needs and feelings, you can make the relationship more mutually fulfilling.
Get to know yourself.
In a relationship, we become so accustomed to our role as a partner that we can forget who we are as individuals. That can contribute to the relationship growing stale. But taking time for yourself can actually help revive the romance. You’ll feel recharged and you’ll have unique experiences to talk about with your partner.
Nurture your own interests by investing a few hours each week in your hobbies and passions. Enroll in a photography class you’ve been wanting to take, see that inspiring speaker at a local university, attend an upcoming food truck fair, or go to a wellness festival. When you do get quality time with your sweetheart, you’ll both be bursting with fresh ideas to share and you’ll start to fall in love all over again.
Find a change of scenery.
Nothing helps a relationship feel special again like a romantic getaway. The change of scenery will allow you to reconnect and devote your full attention to each other. Plan a trip that fits your own style of romance.
If you love nature and fresh air, you and your partner might enjoy renting one of Getaway’s tiny houses in the woods or a cabin on Airbnb. Is city life more your speed? Then head to an urban hotspot and book a stay at a luxe hotel (Hotel Tonight has last-minute deals on chic accommodations). Or go all out with a vacation to a foreign destination that’s on your bucket list.
Whatever type of getaway you decide to embark on, make sure to plan something totally out of your element, like whitewater rafting, trying an unfamiliar cuisine, or a taking a ride in a hot air balloon. Experiencing something new together will bond you.
Collaborating on challenging, interesting activities will give you both a stronger sense of companionship. Pick a project to tackle together. Lots of couples love doing puzzles, reveling in the achievement once it’s completed. You could also take a healthy cooking class, which will teach you how to cooperate in the kitchen and prepare new recipes.
Or find a way to give back to the community through volunteer work. Sign up for the same shift at an animal shelter or participate in a local park cleanup. Joining forces on a meaningful task will bring you closer as a couple.
Relax and indulge.
Relaxing and indulgent activities will make you both feel like royalty…and put you in the mood for romance. Spend a day at the spa (couples massage is a must!), go out to that Michelin-starred restaurant you’ve been dying to try, or pop champagne at a picnic in the park. All the better if it’s a little bit spontaneous.
Rediscover your intimacy.
Your life in the bedroom can suffer when your relationship feels stale. While there’s no magic number when it comes to the right frequency for sex, you should try to get intimate more often if you’re not feeling satisfied. Get adventurous to revive a lagging sex life. You can go visit an adult toy store together or give the Kama Sutra a try.
Investing effort in the sensual side of your relationship will make it feel more exciting—both physically and emotionally.