So you—or someone you know—is getting a divorce. That’s a cause for celebration. Granted, you’re probably not going to call all of your family together for a rustic, barn-themed divorce party (although that’s certainly an option), but you can still take a few moments to appreciate the fact that you’ve taken the first steps toward a happier life. Divorce isn’t easy, but when it’s necessary, nothing feels quite as satisfying as signing those final documents and moving toward a new, spouse-free existence. To that end, we’ve collected a few inexpensive items on Amazon that can make the process slightly easier. If you’re looking for a divorce gift for a friend—or for yourself—this should help you find what you need.
1. If you’re on the fence about the big D, this guide can help you make a decision.
Written by psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum, Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay is a step-by-step guide to determining whether there’s anything left to salvage. It’s practical, compassionate, and adaptable to any relationship. Granted, you’ll probably want to take other steps—relationship counseling, long conversations, and all that other good stuff—before you actually come to a conclusion, but this book has some solid advice for deciding when enough is enough.
2. What’s a divorce celebration without some thematically appropriate glassware?
When you’re finally free, you probably feel like drinking out of a rhinestone-encrusted chalice. This is the next best thing. Each artisan-blown glass features hand-painted designs and crystal accents to help you feel like the queen you are. We’re particularly fond of the “Marriage: The #1 Cause of Divorce” graphic. Sure, it’s slightly cynical, but so are you, right? There’s nothing wrong with that. Each glass holds about 15 ounces of your favorite celebratory refreshment. Hand wash only, or it’ll end up like your marriage.
3. Learn everything you need to avoid the common mistakes people make when divorcing their spouses.
If you’ve decided to divorce, you need to arm yourself with knowledge, regardless of whether you’re on good terms with your soon-to-be ex. Divorce for Dummies gives you an overview of your rights and responsibilities, so you’ll be able to march into your attorney’s office with a good idea of what you’re talking about. This book helps you minimize the stress you’ll inevitably experience during the divorce process, and it’s remarkably affordable. Be sure to get the most recent version; divorce law changes regularly.
4. If you’re filing your own divorce papers, these forms will help you do it responsibly.
Look, you really should consult with a divorce attorney, even if you’ve discussed things like property division and custody with your spouse. With that said, some divorce forms are remarkably straightforward, and if you’ve got a solid understanding of the law and your divorce is uncontested, you might want to file on your own. When that’s the case, this kit will set you on the right path. It comes with a CD with state divorce forms, and all of the contents are reviewed and approved by attorneys.
5. After the divorce is finalized, you’ll need to start watching your expenses.
Yeah, you should have been budgeting before the divorce, but afterward, you’re definitely going to go through a period of fiscal readjustment. A paper budget can help you keep track of your spending, and this simple expense tracker should help you get started on the right foot. Granted, it’s needlessly gendered—Mead calls it an “organizher,” which is pretty stupid—but it has worksheets to help you monitor your cash flow, pockets for bills and receipts, and plenty of other sensible features. Guys, don’t let the flower graphics scare you off.
6. If your partner did all of the cooking, you’ll need to start learning…
Take a look at the cover of this book. Go ahead—take it in. Written by Marie Smith, Microwave Cooking for One delivers exactly what it promises. Smith explains how to create a wide variety of recipes using your microwave, and no, the instructions aren’t simply, “cut a hole in the film on the top of the Lean Cuisine and throw it in the microwave until you can stop crying long enough to hit the ‘stop’ button.” The book is hailed as a “uniquely practical cult favorite,” according to the description on the back. If you’ve got nothing to work with other than a microwave, it’s a great pickup, and it makes a good gag gift for divorce parties.
7. Then again, cooking isn’t necessarily the most depressing thing in the world.
Hey, you might discover you have a lot of free time in your new single life. Why not pick up a skill? If you haven’t cooked much—or if you think you don’t have time to make a nice, home-cooked meal—here’s a great place to get started. One Pot lives up to its name, with a variety of delicious single-dish recipes. You’ll never use more than one pot or skillet, and you’ll whip up tasty, nutritious cuisine without overloading your dishwasher.
8. And if you really don’t want to cook, just let your food cook itself.
Okay, maybe that’s overselling it, but the Instant Pot basically takes care of the entire cooking process for you. It’s a slow cooker, rice cooker, steamer, yogurt maker, and pressure cooker, and it’s remarkably easy to use. Throw in some food in the morning, press a few buttons, and you’ll come home to a delicious home-cooked meal. You can even delay the cooking time by up to 24 hours, and best of all, it never complains about doing all of the work.
9. While you’re setting up your new life, don’t forget to change all of your passwords.
Why should your ex have access to your Netflix? They’re just going to screw up all of your recommendations. When you begin the arduous task of switching your passwords, this paper log book will help you keep track of the changes. It includes 144 pages, which are tabbed alphabetically for easy searching. You can create secure passwords like “myexis55andwantseveryonetothinkthey’re44” and log them all in one convenient place.
10. When the stress starts to build up, release some of the tension.
Your ex would never give you a relaxing back rub. Fortunately, you can handle that job yourself with help from this rechargeable massager. It features a powerful motor capable of delivering 3,600 muscle-soothing pulses per minute for up to 20 minutes at a time. The cordless design makes it great for travel, and it’s ideal for relieving the cramps and knots that tend to pop up when you’ve been sitting all afternoon in your attorney’s office.
11. When you need to remind yourself that things could be worse, relax with a little comedy.
Our pick is Mrs. Doubtfire, the classic Robin Williams flick about a divorced man who dresses up as his children’s nanny in order to spend time with them. Don’t go getting any ideas—we’re pretty sure that Mrs. Doubtfire commits a bunch of felonies over the course of this two-hour movie. Plus, she had an entire special effects department working on hiding her appearance, and she still looked like Robin Williams. In any case, watching a few light-hearted movies can help you keep your mind in the right place. Mrs. Doubtfire might not be high art, but it’s silly fun, and sometimes that’s exactly what you need.
12. Stay organized and productive to avoid developing bad habits.
Sure, you could stay in bed all day eating ice cream and watching Robin Williams movies, but…actually, that sounds pretty good. Go ahead and do that for a few days, but when you’re ready to get your life in order, the Panda Planner will help you organize your schedule. Designed to optimize your productivity, the Panda Planner helps you take control of your career while finding time for your hobbies. In the first few months after a divorce, that’s essential.
13. Keep focusing on the positive; for instance, you no longer have to share the good pillow.
Of course, your ex might have taken the good pillow in the divorce. That’s a cold move. This adjustable pillow is filled with shredded hypoallergenic memory foam, and it’s ideal for all sleeping positions. It’s dust mite–resistant and machine washable, and it even comes with a five-year warranty. If only relationships came with the same sort of guarantee.
14. When you’re having moments of weakness, this wall hanger will remind you that you made the right decision.
The plaque bears this message in a cozy, rustic font: “It’s better to have loved and lost, than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life.” Ain’t it the truth? This makes a great gift for a recent divorcee, and it’s made from natural stoneware clay with a baked-on glossy finish. Hang it somewhere prominent, and you’ll stay strong when you start fielding calls from your ex.
15. Remember, you should be celebrating your divorce, not mourning your marriage.
That’s where this shirt comes in. Designed for divorce parties, it’s comfortable enough to wear every day, although we’d imagine that it’d draw some weird looks if you wore it to church. While the phrase “100% of divorces end in happiness” might not be exactly true, we’re sure that most divorces are ultimately a good thing. After all, why would you want to stay in an unhappy situation? Take a few weeks to savor your newfound freedom and wear this shirt with pride.
16. When those long nights feel a little too long, this pillow should help.
Hey, sometimes you just need to cuddle, but you don’t want an actual man anywhere near you. The “original boyfriend pillow” might look like a gag gift, but it’s actually a really decent pillow, and it won’t interrupt your favorite movie to start talking about its insecurities (well, we don’t think it will, anyway). If you’re looking for a female body pillow to cuddle with, we’ve got bad news; we couldn’t find anything. However, we did find a pillow shaped like a grizzly bear.
17. Nothing feels quite as satisfying as that final walk out of the attorney’s office.
While you can’t savor the moment forever, you can remind yourself of the glory days of divorce with this “freshly signed divorce papers” scented candle. Ah, smell that ink; it smells like freedom. This is pretty much a novelty gift, but it’s a great one. We love the manufacturer’s description: “Part happy, part sad, a little relieved, and unsure of your future financial stability: the complex emotions of divorce are captured in this very complex candle.”
18. If you’re looking for a Zen way to relieve your frustrations with your ex…
Well, this coloring book isn’t it. It’s filled with vivid graphics and expletive-laden text, all directed at your ex-husband (sorry, people with ex-wives—there’s no version for you). Grab your crayons or markers and start making your way through the swear words. We shouldn’t have to say this, but this certainly isn’t an appropriate book for children. Hey, that makes sense—children rarely get divorced.
19. Here’s another way to get rid of physical tension.
Meet your new main squeeze. When you think you can’t take any more discussions of alternative dispute resolutions and fiduciary responsibilities, reach for this little toy. It’s a stress ball with a tear-resistant gel core, which should come in handy when you’re trying to figure out exactly what constitutes “marital property.” The smooth surface feels oddly satisfying, and it holds its shape well, even when you’re taking out all of your frustrations.
20. When you’re finally on your own, celebrate with a nice cup of coffee.
If you can’t express your cynical inner monologue with a pithy coffee mug, you’re not really trying. This 11-ounce mug bears the hopeful message “King of Whatever Is Left,” and by “hopeful,” we mean “sort of depressing but in a fun way.” It’s yet another great gift for recent divorcees, and it’s both microwave and dishwasher safe. By the way, “microwave safe” is a very important set of words to any newly single person.
21. If you’re really feeling bitter, this shirt should help you send a message.
Hopefully, you’re ending your divorce on amicable terms. If not, take a cheap shot with this high-quality t-shirt. It’s fun to wear to divorce parties, blind dates, or courtroom appearances. (Note: Don’t actually wear it to the last two.) Machine wash cold, or it’ll shrink like your belief in true love. Best of all, it’s available for both men and women. Buy one for your ex, and you two can match!
22. If you’ve got custody of the pets, use them to your advantage.
What better way to re-enter the dating scene than by taking your dog for a walk? People will stop to compliment your adorable pet and maybe you’ll hit it off. Maybe they’ll wonder if you’re single—and maybe your dog will give them the answer. This shirt makes your dog into a cute little wingman. It’s a lightweight tee, printed professionally for years of use. Hopefully you won’t need it that long (unless you end up loving the single life, of course).
23. When you need to build your self-confidence, turn on some Aretha Franklin.
The late Queen of Soul had plenty to say about respect—and yes, we’re referencing her most famous song, but we’re also referring to the enormous catalog she performed over the course of her legendary career. She sang with boldness, self-confidence, and passion, and if you’re missing any of those qualities, this singles collection should help you get your mind right. With tunes like “Prove It,” “Do Right Woman – Do Right Man,” and “Think,” Franklin shows off the sort of loving—but not compromising—attitude you’ll need to take into your next relationship.
24. During the first few months, you might need a little help around the house.
That’s where Amazon’s Alexa comes in. The digital voice assistant can dim your lights, lock your doors, tell you jokes, play you music, read you recipes—basically anything you need. The Echo speaker is actually a really decent speaker, so it’s our favorite application of the Alexa technology. If you’re on a budget (and during a divorce, pretty much everyone is on a budget), the Echo Dot is also a solid choice.
25. When you’re feeling down, cheer yourself up the good, old-fashioned American way.
Yes, we’re talking about fried foods. During those occasional bouts of melancholy, nothing’s quite as comforting as a couple of french fries or chicken fingers. But you don’t need to sacrifice your health to enjoy those crispy bits of comfort food. Air fryers work by rapidly circulating hot air around your food, “frying” without using much oil (or any oil at all, depending on the recipe). This digital air fryer comes with a cookbook, and its easy-to-use digital controls will have you frying up a batch of happiness in no time.
26. Really, we could have populated this entire list with divorce-related coffee mugs.
This one’s a bit different; it’s uplifting, not cynical, and its simple message should help you drink your favorite morning beverages with the confidence of a newly single heartthrob. The “I (Heart) Me” message is printed on both sides, so left-handers won’t feel “left” out. Per the comments, it washes well—either by hand or in the dishwasher—without fading or chipping. Apparently, it’s also featured on Grey’s Anatomy, but don’t hold that against it.
27. Every divorce party needs some balloons.
These black latex balloons feature the text “Bye, Felicia,” which was originally a quote from the classic Ice Cube comedy Friday. These days, the phrase is shorthand for “get out of my life, person whose name may or may not be Felicia.” Made in the U.S. with biodegradable materials, these balloons are durable enough to last through a few divorce parties. Check out all of the five-star reviews; people really love these things. Except people named Felicia, of course.
28. Oh, you thought we were done with the divorce-themed coffee mugs?
Think again. This one bears the text “Happy Divorce. None of Us Liked Her Anyway.” It’s obviously intended as a divorce gift, but be careful; you should only give someone this mug when the divorce is actually finalized. Otherwise, if the couple ends up sorting out their differences, breakfasts will get really awkward. It’s dishwasher and microwave safe, and it holds 15 ounces of liquid and a virtually unlimited amount of catharsis.
29. When you’re ready to re-enter the dating scene, it’s time to work on your smile.
You could pay for expensive teeth-whitening treatments, but you just got divorced, which meant spending hours in your attorney’s office—the last thing you want to do is spend hours in a dentist’s office. Active Wow’s Activated Coconut Charcoal Powder gently draws out stains from coffee, tea, and other common sources. It’s excellent for gum health, and while the idea of brushing your teeth with charcoal might seem a little odd, it’s a naturally effective way to brighten your smile.
30. These photo booth props will make your divorce party truly cathartic.
You had a photo booth at your wedding; why not have one at your divorce party? This selection of props helps you make the most of a bad situation. Sure, some of them are a bit vindictive, but there’s nothing wrong with getting those negative feelings out into the open. Just make sure your ex doesn’t see any of the resulting pictures—unless you’re feeling especially cruel. The props come with 20 wooden dowel sticks and adhesives for easy assembly. If you’re going to throw a divorce party, you might as well go all out, and this kit is everything you need to start decorating.
31. This book provides essential insights into the process of divorce.
Divorce can throw your life into chaos. You’ll deal with feelings of uncertainty, and you’ll mourn the loss of a serious relationship. It’s not simple or easy, but it’s ultimately the best thing you can do for your own happiness. In the perfectly titled Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life, author Abigail Trafford takes a compassionate look at the journey of divorce, providing key insights to help readers work through the process and come out as better individuals. It’s a self-help book, but it’s also based on interviews with hundreds of divorced individuals, and Trafford’s humane-yet-scientific approach can make a crazy time in your life seem much more manageable.
32. Get in better shape with this premium set of resistance bands.
When you’re going through the aforementioned crazy times, you’ll need to avoid falling into bad habits. The best way to do that is to pick up some good habits, and regular exercise can have an incredibly beneficial effect on your mental and physical well-being. This set of resistance bands gives you everything you need for safe strength training. They’re color coded to help you choose the perfect amount of resistance for any workout, and the manufacturer stands behind the quality of their high-grade silicone products with an “anti-snap promise.” This set also comes with a door anchor, handles, and ankle straps.
33. Don’t forget to change your locks.
Okay, maybe you’re not worried about your ex dropping by unannounced, but if that’s even a remote possibility, you’ll want to do your due diligence. This key-free lock has a touchscreen keypad, and you can also unlock it via Apple HomeKit and Siri or with the free Yale security app. It fits on standard doors, and you can even make unique PIN codes for friends and family, setting up rules to allow access at certain times of day. The app can also send you a notification when the door is unlocked. It comes with mounting hardware, batteries, and a detailed installation manual. Yale also offers a limited lifetime mechanical warranty.
34. Whether you’re feeling stressed, depressed, anxious, or angry, a bit of meditation can help.
Mindfulness meditation helps you stay centered and put your problems into perspective. More importantly, it allows you to release negative emotions, giving you the clear head you need to navigate your new life. This comfortable pillow is filled with buckwheat hulls, which provide a sturdy seat for your morning meditation sessions. It’s handmade, and the organic cotton cover unzips for easy washing.
35. While you’re meditating, enjoy some light aromatherapy.
Aromatherapy helps you let go of your stress—and helps to rid your home of any lingering odors that your ex left behind (yeah, we went there). This InnoGear oil diffuser features glowing LED lights with seven selectable colors, a waterless automatic shut-off feature, and three working modes. You’ll enjoy a light mist of your favorite essential oils, and the ultra-quiet operation won’t distract you when you’re trying to relax.
36. For kids, divorce can be extraordinarily difficult.
We’re not telling you anything you don’t know—when a family breaks apart, childcare often suffers. It’s important to remember that divorce often results in a better outcome for kids, since two happy homes certainly provide a better atmosphere than one unhappy home. But you’ll need to put in some serious effort to ensure healthy development for your child. Putting Children First helps divorced parents understand what their children are feeling. It’s an essential guide for creating effective parenting strategies, reducing conflict with your ex, and setting appropriate boundaries. Written by divorce expert JoAnne Pedro-Carroll, this is a wonderful resource to keep on hand as you build a better future for your entire family.
37. You’ll sleep a lot better knowing that you made the right decision.
And you’ll sleep even better if you’ve got a high-quality mattress. This affordable option from Linenspa combines memory foam with the feel of a traditional innerspring mattress to give you a nice, restful sleep. There’s a layer of memory foam quilted in the knit fabric cover, while a 1.5-inch layer below the cover provides additional comfort. The inner springs provide support and prevent the mattress from drooping over time. This mattress ships in a compressed box for easy delivery, and the twin version is around $100. Hey, why opt for anything bigger? You’re on your own—and for the time being, that’s perfectly fine.
