If you want a perfect wedding, you’re going to have to put in a lot of work—and a ton of money. The average wedding costs an astounding $33,391, according to a survey from wedding website The Knot. Given that expense, perhaps it’s not surprising that some people freak out when their big days don’t go exactly as planned. Recently, Reddit users shared their stories of terrible bridezillas (and, in one case, a maid-of-honorzilla). They’re pretty horrific, and therefore, incredibly entertaining. We collected a few of the best, then edited them slightly to improve readability.
When you’re getting married, you want everything to go perfectly.
That’s fine; just make sure you’re not putting any undue stress on the other members of your wedding party. “I’m a bridal wear designer, and I’ve worked for a few medium- to large-sized brands as well as for individual clients,” wrote Bugalugandpen. “I started off working in a boutique selling bridal gowns, bridesmaid dresses, and all the stuff that goes with it.” “At the end of a very hot, very busy Saturday while I was working on my own, a glamorous and slender bridal party walk in. The bride, mother, and three maids have come to see their bridesmaid dresses, then try them on to be altered. They’d ordered them about four months prior.” “These dresses were the ‘hot’ thing at the time. All seemed fine. First, the bridesmaids come out, and I pinned the hem and talked them through any additional stuff. The mother is super picky, and the bride is very much obsessed with her ‘perfect day.’ but that’s pretty much normal.” “The last bridesmaid comes out, and the hem is lifted over an inch from the ground on her left side, but is over two inches too long for the rest of the hem, so it looks incredibly wonky. The bride nearly breaks down and mother goes basically catatonic. They’re yelling that the wedding is ruined, they’re going to sue us to hell, etc.” “The bridesmaid looks rather sheepish. I offered to get them a new dress and promised it would be sorted out. I needed to talk to the owner to get full details, but it would be resolved within a week.” “I had a suspicion, so I went into the changing room with the bridesmaid to ‘help her out of the dress,’ and she looked rather upset. I told her again that we could sort it, and she would look great in the end, but it didn’t seem to help. I asked if everything was okay or if there is something she wants to tell me.” “She nearly bursts into tears and tells me that she so sorry, but she’s pregnant. She’d been trying for a while, but the bride had told her she wasn’t allowed to get pregnant and ruin her wedding.” “She was only at four weeks, but with the style of dress, it meant the fabric lifted with just the tiniest of bumps. You really have to be a flat-stomached wonder, or those dresses do weird things.” “She was really stressed about not being able to tell anyone until after the wedding, and worrying about getting through the bachelorette party without anyone realizing she was pregnant. The bride would lose it with her. I was in a difficult place because the bride was threatening us for something that wasn’t our fault.” “I agreed with the bridesmaid that I wouldn’t say anything, but after the wedding, she would need to tell the bride that we helped—not hindered—the situation! She was super grateful, and I managed to fix the dress for her, but she paid for it (the bride thought we were covering it). The bride did send in a ‘Thank You’ card after the wedding, so I guess it all worked out in the end for her.”
Wedding photography isn’t as easy as it looks.
If a friend offers to take photos for your wedding, you should probably refuse; professional photographers might be expensive, but you get what you pay for. If you’re lucky enough to know a professional who’s willing to do the work at a discount rate, by all means, take the deal—but don’t complain afterward. “I am a commercial photographer, not a wedding photographer,” explained Hooklinensinkr. “My best friend since first grade asked me to photograph his twin sister’s wedding because they don’t have the budget for a professional that specializes in weddings. I figure out my costs and tell them I’ll do it for a break-even fee of $400—about ¼ of what they’d pay otherwise—and they agree.” “They’re supposed to pay me on the day. Things are going on, the bride’s panicking. She doesn’t have her checkbook, but promises to pay cash later. I said ‘Okay.’ I follow them around from 9:30 a.m. to 1:00 a.m., hearing from both the bride and groom that they’ve got enough cash as gifts that they could settle up right away. It never happens. They’ll transfer it to me via email—again, fine.” “A week later I’m about 10 hours into what would become 30 hours of editing the final 250 photos, and still there’s no money. The bills from my expenses are coming due. I text them, no reply. I had to ask my friend to find out that they took off on a month-long honeymoon in Europe.” “Their dad finally called and paid me instead, and I mailed them the photos. They all went on her social media. She seemed happy, the friends and family seemed happy, but I didn’t hear a word of thanks.” “Six months later, she starts getting my buddy to ask me for all of the photos I took—almost 1,400—to do her own editing. Most professionals, including myself, would never allow that, and I say as much and ask why it never came up before. She starts putting s***** Instagram filters on the final photos and posting them with passive aggressive comments about how the photographer won’t come through, so she has to improve on what she’s got.” “My buddy and I have a more strained relationship because I had to put my foot down. I don’t shoot weddings or offer friend discounts anymore, with no exceptions.”
If you’re petty at your wedding, everyone will know.
“Oh man, I have one ‘bridezilla’ I had to deal with, though thankfully at a distance,” wrote 2354PK. “One of my high school friends just got married a few weeks ago. We’ve known each other since we were in diapers, so even though I live in a different country, I RSVP’d that I’d come.” “Now, I did it via text, because I didn’t know how long it’d take for the reply to get to her. She freaked out that I wasn’t doing it properly and [complained] that I needed to spend the money on the stamps to send it back. Okay, I get her point, even though I think it’s stupid.” “I ended up getting a call shortly after she got my response—three weeks later, by the way—telling me only my son and I were invited, not my husband. I asked why, and she refused to answer me, eventually telling me I shouldn’t come.” “I talked to a friend who was standing up in the wedding party, and apparently, she made it pretty obvious she was embarrassed to be ‘marrying down.’ She was always the ‘hot one’ of our friend group, and she thought her husband wasn’t as good looking as she deserved, so she decided to not invite any of the good-looking husbands of her female friends—especially if those friends ‘weren’t as pretty as she was.’”
Whatever you do, don’t give your guests a contract.
“I was in a wedding for a girl who wasn’t a super close friend, but we each had the same best friend, so I ended up being in the wedding,” wrote AccomplishedOlive. “We had to sign a contract.” Okay, that sounds sketchy—and the contract’s conditions were just as bad as you’d think. “One, we wouldn’t get any fake tans, because no one was allowed to be tanner than her,” she wrote. “Also, no tan lines on our lesser tanned skin. Two, no false lashes—her lashes were to be the longest.” “Three, no teeth whitening. Her ‘smile was to shine the brightest,’ and that’s an exact quote from the contract. Four, $400 bridesmaid dresses and $100 shoes, plus $250 in rented jewelry, all of which we had to buy on our own—despite the fact that her family was loaded and I was so broke. Looking back, I wish I would’ve had the courage to just decline. It was awful.” “My brother’s brother-in-law was getting married,” wrote Wildescrawl. “He had a daughter from a previous relationship who was 10 or 11 at the time of the wedding, and he had a second child that was 2 years old with this new soon-to-be wife.” “The new wife wouldn’t allow the older daughter to be at the wedding because ‘She’s not mine and I don’t want her distracting people.’” We’ll give you a moment to contemplate how horrible that is.
When kids are involved, these stories get especially infuriating.
“When my best friend from high school married his first wife, he asked that my then 4-year-old daughter, and his goddaughter, be a flower girl,” wrote Mrscake76. “His fiancée, Bridezilla, chose a dress for my daughter that cost $600.” “I gently explained that we didn’t have $600 to spend on a dress. She blew up. Cried, yelled, etc. Finally, we calmed her down and found a dress at Macy’s for $80. Still way out of my price range at the time, but we made it work.” “As we got closer to the Big Day, she called to tell me that I would need to leave early from work the Friday before the event, drive my 4-year-old daughter two hours away to spend the night with her and her friends in a hotel room, and be prepared to fork out $250 for her hair and makeup in the morning.” “One, my daughter doesn’t really know any of you. Two, I wouldn’t trust you to care for a hamster, let alone my kid. Three, you and your sorority sisters plan to get s***faced while my kid does…what? And fourth, $250? For hair and makeup on my 4-year-old?” “No. I’ll do her hair. I’ll even let her wear a little bit of makeup—she’ll be thrilled. We’ll meet you at the church half an hour before the ceremony.” Bridezilla agreed, on the condition that the little girl looks, ahem, presentable. She wasn’t exactly happy with the arrangement. “On the day of the wedding, we show up with my daughter looking adorable,” Mrscake76 explained. “She napped in the car, had a snack, kept herself and her pretty dress clean, and was thrilled to be a flower girl. This was not her first flower girl gig, either. This was at least her third time. She was a pro.” “Bridezilla wanted her to practice before the ceremony. The poor kid got yelled at for ‘not scattering the petals evenly.’ Then she got yelled at for watching a butterfly instead of paying attention to the Bridezilla yelling at the rest of the wedding party.” “We finally got the thing started, made it through, and went outside the church to congratulate Bridezilla and groom. My daughter came running to me and my husband for hugs, and Bridezilla freaked out. She insisted that my daughter stay with the wedding party and not go with us to the reception. My daughter was okay with that, since she knew one of the guys in the wedding party and would get to ride in the limo. She was starving, though, and when I tried to offer her one of the snacks I’d brought, Bridezilla said no way since they were going to get pictures taken.” Somehow, it gets worse. “We went our separate ways and waited at the reception for two hours before they finally showed up. My daughter was so hungry—she was near tears when she finally saw us. I snuck her some Goldfish crackers while the first dance and the cake cutting took place.” “All she wanted to do was eat and dance with her ‘uncle,’ my best friend. Bridezilla decreed that no one was allowed to dance with the groom but her. She would make an exception for him to have one dance with his mother.” “My daughter asked her politely if she could have one dance with her uncle and was told no. When he came over and picked my daughter up to hug her, Bridezilla got mad and told him to put her down. Now that they were married, all physical affection was hers alone. I wasn’t even allowed to hug him. His mother wasn’t allowed to hug him.” Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. Sort of. “Thank God she cheated on him, and he divorced her.”
Sometimes, the bride’s not the most difficult person in the wedding party.
“We got invited to a wedding of a distant friend of my wife,” wrote DevilRenegade. “She was a former work colleague. The bride-to-be’s sister was organising everything by email. She wrote: ‘Accommodation and food for two for the weekend: £200. Please pay into my account.’” “Fair enough—they were getting married in a castle about 200 miles away, so accommodation was a necessity. No problem so far. Then: ‘Hen night meal and drinks kitty: £150. Please pay into my account.’” We should note here that in the United Kingdom, a “hen night” is another name for a bachelorette party. A kitty refers to a communal pool of money. “Hmm; that seems steep for a meal at the local restaurant and a few drinks afterward,” DevilRenegade wrote. “Third: ‘We’ve organised a canoeing trip for the wedding party the day before the wedding: £100. Please pay into my account.’ No thanks. I had my shoulder strapped up from a sports injury at the time, so there was no way I was doing this.” Strangely enough, the list wasn’t over. “‘Salsa dancing class before the hen party: £50. Please pay into my account.’ I lost my [cool] with this one. I did some research and found that there was one place within a 20-mile radius of the wedding venue that did salsa-dancing classes, and they cost a lot less than £50. In fact, they cost the same amount if you multiplied the number of people on the hen party attendees’ list by £50, then took away two places for the bride and her sister.” “In other words, she was basically setting up an awesome weekend for her and her sister, and everyone else was paying for it. I added up the costs of all her emails, and she was expecting over £500 from us before we’d even left the house. We’ve been on week-long holidays that cost less.” “The email I sent back: ‘Will pay for our accommodation and food, and my wife’s food at the hen party only. No intention of paying for you and your sister to go canoeing, salsa dancing, or partying.’” “The last straw was when my wife went off to the local restaurant with some of the other attendees in a taxi—whereas the bride and maid of honor had a stretch limo to themselves (which was paid for out of the hen-night kitty, we found out later). I planned to stay back and watch a rugby game in the hotel bar, but within an hour of her leaving, my wife called me and asked me to come and pick her up from the restaurant. It was all the bride-to-be’s close friends and family, and she wasn’t being made to feel welcome.” “I’m not sure why the best day of someone else’s life should be the most expensive of ours.”
